by: Author Unknown, Japanese Folktale
Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the House. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What is the feedback you are receiving and what feedback are you reflecting back to others? Are you doing it in a way of being in service to others?
As a leader, we recognize that we deliver feedback and receive it in many different ways. Here's a tip you can apply and practice today from Source Point Training that will assist you in delivering feedback. We call it the "FORMS" Feedback Model and as you practice this each day, notice the responses you get. Remember that feedback is a tool to provide awareness; not a torch to make people or results wrong.
Factual - A factual act, not your interpretation or opinion.
Observable - If you did not see or personally experience the situation, you are not able to give feedback, it's really just "hearsay."
Respectful - Dominated by creating working results and relationships, not characterizations or judgments.
Measurable - Objective reality, "rocks are hard and water is wet", must be backed up with empirical evidence.
Specific - Not a generalization or assessment; define the specific area or incident in which feedback is being provided.
So, the next time you would like to "tell someone what you think", use the model above and see what a difference it will be for you and for the recipient of the feedback.
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, Source Point Training, March 25, 2011.