If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon
I have been reflecting a lot about what to write about as we begin the New Year TODAY, like offering tons of different New Year’s resolutions and tips to stick to them to create lasting change as an example. But that just didn’t feel authentic to me especially knowing most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions within weeks of declaring them (January 21st to be exact), #watchmework
New Year brings on a renewed enthusiasm for creating change, and that’s what I love about ringing in the New Year, because it’s all about possibility, 365 new days, filled with new choices, new intentions backed with intentional action! #HELLO That to me, is exciting! I also love to acknowledge and be grateful for all the blessings that occurred in the previous year, the challenges overcome, and the change and growth that occurred in the process of achieving desired results. What I’m also saying is that New Year’s resolutions often fail for a reason, because they don’t emerge from true breakthroughs or a commitment to change, they are often results driven by calendar obligations; and they often address the symptoms, not the cause of our wanting them.
Some resolutions are smart for our physical and emotional health and well-being. Quitting smoking, losing weight, managing stress better, these are all healthy things. But if we don’t address what underlies our needs to light up, order double bacon cheeseburgers, and worry ourselves into frenzies, will it really help to vow on one arbitrary day to give up everything that helps us pretend we’re fine? It’s almost like we set ourselves up for failure to avoid addressing the messy stuff.
You know the story. Every year, you make grand resolutions. You vow to quit eating sugar, go to the gym five days a week, hit a certain financial goal, and be a nicer person, the list goes on and on. Your heart is in the right place, and you start your year full of optimism. Then comes February, and “try” as you might, you're back to your daily sugar fix, you haven’t been to the gym in a week, and you’re snapping at your co-workers, family, and friends. The cycle is demoralizing, and it leaves you feeling like a failure.
Well, guess what? You're not alone, and it’s not your fault. We put a lot of pressure on the New Year to right all our wrongs and finally become the person we want to be, and while that's definitely a worthwhile endeavor, it’s just the way we go about it sets us up for an inevitable downfall, maybe after a month, or two, or perhaps just a week.
The secret is #TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF and to set goals that you can actually stick to. Instead of one or two big, grand resolutions, outline a handful of smaller goals that add up to big change, #BE BOLD! The steps and strategy below are a great place to start, and I promise you that if you stick to these for #90days, you will create that ultimate change you really want 2016, as well bonuses you may not have expected along the way! And, then repeat, each quarter, because this time next year - we will happy dance together!
Attitude: It’s EVERYTHING! Start the process of change with a positive and healthy attitude. Make as many of your declarations with clear and positive “I have", "I AM, commitments, as if it is already complete - I call it a DONE DEAL! I PROMISE YOU, this will give you huge mileage on having it happen. You will be intentional and back it up with intentional and specific action! #itsadonedeal
Be specific: When thinking about the change you want, be as exact as possible. People who set specific goals are more likely to succeed. Remember vague goals = vague results, so be clear! #BOOM
Get clear on your purpose: Along with attitude purpose will be your guide. It answers the question “why”, why do you want what you want, why is it important to you? The clearer you are on this the easier it is to overcome ANY obstacle or circumstance that gets in your way! Chocolate-Peanut Butter Ice Cream, #canttouchme
Put it in writing: Write down exactly what you want to achieve and post it in a place where you will see it every day. This will help remind you what you're working toward. When you write, use positive terms. For example, instead of writing, "I will stop eating junk food" re-word your goal in more positive terms, "I make healthy food choices." Notice a pattern here? All in the positive, and it's how you roll, like on the daily!!
Declare it out loud: Many times we don’t do this because “what if we fail, then everyone will know” – what? As if! Let’s change that to “when I succeed, I get to celebrate with all my peeps!!” People are really there to assist you in a win, the best accountability systems I know.
Set realistic goals. When you think about setting goals, make sure that they are within your reach. Be mindful of your finances, schedule, and other personal affairs. Many people forget to think about these important facts and, as a result, they set unrealistic goals for themselves. Time and money are often held as obstacles, but each are actually resources and can be coached to, so don't let them stop you! Work with a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner, who won't put up with any baloney, turn them into resources vs. barriers. Get intentional about generating vs. I don't have enough........ #watchuswork
Develop an action plan. Create a timeline with steps toward your goal. Set deadlines for each step and cross them off as you go, and reward your accomplishment. Crossing things off and watching your list get smaller will give you a sense of accomplishment and helps you keep going. Consequences, urgency, momentum = motivation, and only you can motivate YOU! #getaplan
Believe in yourself. Stay positive about your progress. Remember to share your goal with friends or family members and ask them to help you stay accountable and cheer you on. #letsdothis
Seek assistance. For any goal there are experts out there who have the knowledge and experience to assist you in achieving your goals. BE a team! Get a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner. No visionary ever manifested their vision alone, and seriously its much more fun doing things together!
Be flexible. Keep in mind that setbacks can happen. Don't become discouraged and give up. Your hard work will pay off! The struggle is real people, and makes it oh so sweet when you slay it!! Lean in to your circle of support, and hit it again!!
Reward yourself. Acknowledge your achievements, even the small ones. Reaching a goal takes work so acknowledge your efforts. Do it LOUD and PROUD, include your support system and acknowledge them too, because together is so much better!!! It's like a giant dance party, #celebrate
Imagine yourself 365 days from now, can you see it, hear it, feel it? Oh how sweet it is! So start NOW, each day is a new day to grab the opportunity in front of you and build. Remember your future self will thank you! The BEST is yet to come! #itsgoingdownforreal
So go for it, grab it, and give back! #yessssss
The summer has come and gone, we are now entering a new fall season, and I'm sure many of us are looking forward to ending the year finishing what we started. Today is the first day of Q4 2014, and it's time to create your road map to finishing strong.
With back to school, and back to work in full swing, what better time than now to put yourself back into the driver's seat? I've always looked at October 1st as a great time to revisit those goals set back in January, and do something TODAY that I know my future self will thank me for.
First, take a look at what you did complete, and then put your theme song on, play it loud, and get your very best HAPPY DANCE on! Don't hold out on yourself now, shake it out! I'll give you a few minutes...........Ok, how fun was that? Now imagine yourself on 12/31, having completed your 2014 goals, enjoying the celebration with the whole nation. Let's do this!
When it comes to goal setting, there are a few ACTIONS I invite my clients to stick to, in order to make this "unofficial second half" of the year even better than the first. It's "Fourth Quarter Finale" time, so let's revisit the Three R's to Success:
Your Action Steps:
Get Real - getting real means staying realistic with your thinking. There's no better way to discourage yourself than to make a goal that you cannot achieve. And in getting REAL, reflect on why you wanted that goal in the first place and why it is important to you? This way you can move to reassessing with clarity.
Reassess - let's think about this as halftime in the big game of the year. What goals did you set in the beginning of the year, or earlier in life that haven't worked for you? Why haven't they worked? What did work? And, why did they work? Reassess doesn't necessarily mean to throw that goal out the window. It means to see what needs to be tweaked so it can be achieved. Remember that though a challenge is important for growth, we also want to always set ourselves up for success to stay motivated.
Write it down, RIGHT now - a goal that is unwritten is like a lost song that no one will ever hear. It's important to write things down and place it in a place where you will constantly see it. For some reason, it's like making a contract with ourselves and works as a constant reminder of what you are trying to achieve. This also helps if you live with others, because surprisingly enough they will also keep you on your toes by asking you about your goals routinely. This serves as a constant reminder to get off your rear and get into gear.
Fall is an excellent time to get up and into a routine dedicated to creating that change you want. Let's go, what's on your list? Your future self will thank you...Happy Fall!
The House of 1000 Mirrors
by: Author Unknown, Japanese Folktale
Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the House. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What is the feedback you are receiving and what feedback are you reflecting back to others? Are you doing it in a way of being in service to others?
As a leader, we recognize that we deliver feedback and receive it in many different ways. Here's a tip you can apply and practice today from Source Point Training that will assist you in delivering feedback. We call it the "FORMS" Feedback Model and as you practice this each day, notice the responses you get. Remember that feedback is a tool to provide awareness; not a torch to make people or results wrong.
Factual - A factual act, not your interpretation or opinion.
Observable - If you did not see or personally experience the situation, you are not able to give feedback, it's really just "hearsay."
Respectful - Dominated by creating working results and relationships, not characterizations or judgments.
Measurable - Objective reality, "rocks are hard and water is wet", must be backed up with empirical evidence.
Specific - Not a generalization or assessment; define the specific area or incident in which feedback is being provided.
So, the next time you would like to "tell someone what you think", use the model above and see what a difference it will be for you and for the recipient of the feedback.
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, Source Point Training, March 25, 2011.
In 2004 I got to experience both creating change, and change creating me. I had spent close to
twenty years in mortgage banking, and learned a lot about working with teams, customer quality, strategic planning, and working with people to stay on track, with a good dose of being in Corporate America. I always wanted to work with people in some capacity, and remember my Dad telling me as a teenager, “Kelly, you should work with people, you know like a counselor or something.” Flashback to 2003, I took an opportunity to go back to school and earn my certification in coaching because I was jazzed about the idea of working with people, who were committed to moving forward with their life both personally and professionally.
Now, a funny thing happens when we get clear about what we want in life, and what I did not know is there was big change coming my way. In May of 2004, thirty days to the date of my certification testing, the bank I worked for was purchased and my
position was one of many that had been eliminated.
Deep breath and now, what was I going to do?
I’ll never forget one of the best defining moments in my life was illuminated by my husband. He is
so brilliant and shared this wisdom, “I guess you just got your answer today, time to start coaching!” And with that I graduated and certified as a coach in
June of 2004, and never looked back. I remember that feeling almost ten years later, you know the feeling you get when you know you are exactly where you are supposed to be? I believe the change of losing a job, absolutely propelled me moving
forward creating change with hundreds of people over the past ten years, and for that I am grateful.
My coaching business has given me the opportunity to contribute to my clients creating success. It's the best, being with people in a way that challenges and empowers them to stretch beyond their comfort zone and reach goals they really want, both in business and personally. Those celebration moments are awesome! I work with my clients to get clear from a place of purpose, vision, and values to create actionable plans with strategies, hold them accountable, and ultimately reach their success. I love to reframe impossibility to possibility, and create a place to explore, design, and be excited about reaching their goals.
When I’m not coaching, you can be sure to find me at my son’s baseball games, volunteering, camping with my family, and definitely laughing with my family and friends. I firmly believe that laughter can shift things so quickly so we practice not taking ourselves so seriously quite regularly.
"Sometimes we create change and other times change creates us!" So true! Let me know in the comment section below how I can assist you with a change you may be facing, or share some of your defining moments, I look forward to it.
Today marks a milestone day for someone who I have been fascinated with, admired, and enjoyed since I was a little girl. I remember I couldn't wait to find out who her "Most Fascinating Person of the Year" was, and why. I love being inspired, and Barbara Walters has always been able to create that in so many ways. I'll admit, I was teary watching her say thank you. Today, Barbara Walters retires and what a joy it has been to experience her gratitude, wisdom, wonder, and legacy. Here's a bit of what I heard in her final words on The View;
“How could you be part of a cutting edge news department for 38 years, not that it was all sunshine and valentines. True, I was the first female co-host of a network news program, but it was also true, that I was a flop. My co-host didn’t want me and neither did the audience. I was drowning, I was gasping for air, and then, someone threw me a life preserver called SPECIALS with the biggest stars in news and show business, and I learned how to swim again. And finally, how proud when I see all the young women who are making and report the news. If I did anything to help that happen, that’s my legacy. When all of that is done, I can now take a deep breath and enjoy my view.”
To see some of the many women she paved the way for, stand in Barbara's honor and acknowledge her was truly moving. Barbara indeed is a trail blazer, a pioneer, breaking barriers and, showing us what it means to move forward, despite circumstances, controversy, or people telling her she couldn't. She did it anyway. She broke the glass ceiling and inspired so many women to go for their dreams along the way. She reminds me that we never know what's possible, and always believe that truly anything is possible. Possibility, with clear purpose, vision, persistence, courage, and partnership we not only can but WILL achieve, make a difference, and live fully, embracing change.
It's now time for Barbara to enjoy taking on her "would of, should of, could of" which she shared she often has, hey she is human! It's time for her to enjoy her view. I thank you Barbara Walters, thank you for your contribution, gifts, talents, and purpose. Thank you for your inspiration all along the way. I have no doubt you will truly embrace and enjoy "Your View".
May we all live each day in gratitude and enjoyment of "Our View" and keep contributing to others, because the possibilities are truly endless!
Albert Schweitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize recipient, once said, “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” - oh so true!
I keep a “blessings” journal where I simply list those people and things that I am grateful for in my life. A new practice I have is to carry it in my purse to make notes even when I’m not at home. Sometimes when I think of a person I’d like
thank, I make a note of it, including a nice way to express my gratitude. As I get older, I have become really aware that if I don’t write it down, it will never happen. As the journal gets full, it’s fun to look back and see all of the ways I’ve been blessed. It’s easy to feel gratitude when you see your life in those terms.
May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. I thank you, and am grateful for the powerful connections, relationships, the challenges, the giggles, and the opportunities for growth and change this beautiful life creates.
Lots of love and blessings to you and yours.
Lessons from Geese provides an excellent example of the importance of team work, utilizing our resources, and how it can have a profound and powerful effect on any form of personal or business endeavors. When using these five principles in our personal and business life it will help us to foster and encourage a level of passion and energy in ourselves, as well as those who are our friends, associates or team members.
It is essential to remember that teamwork happens inside and outside of business life when it is continually nurtured and encouraged. And with that, let us check out how the geese handle it, read on……….
"Lessons from Geese"
As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an ”uplift" for the bird following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.
Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the "lifting power" of the bird immediately in front.
Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will join in formations with those who are headed where we want to go.
When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position.
Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership – with people, as with geese, interdependent with one other.
The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
Lesson: We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging - not something less helpful.
When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow their fellow member down to help provide protection. They stay with this member of the flock until he or she is either able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out on their own, with another formation, or catch up with their own flock.
Lesson: If we have as much sense as the geese, we’ll stand by each other like that.
Lessons from the Geese, was written in 1972 by Dr. Robert McNeish
Happy Friday Everyone! I love Fridays because it’s an “evaluation day”, or a day to pause, and see where I’ve landed in relationship to my goals, and I encourage my clients to do the same. I’ve had a blast working with my clients this week, and here’s what I learned in different ways from each of them; “if we don’t go after what we want, we will never have it. If we don’t ask for what we want, the answer is always no. If we don’t step forward, we are always in the same place”, PERIOD! In a nutshell, what I see is COMMITMENT AND OUTRAGEOUS ACTION! Now, it’s time to celebrate, rejuvenate, enjoy the weekend, and get happy about “the next” outrageous action they’ve declared! What will you do today to move you forward in your 2014 goals? Ask yourself, “what must I stop doing and what must I start doing”, then as Nike says, “Just DO IT”! It’s never too late to start, so let it rip!!
It's true, the first month of 2014 has flown by, reality has set in. I don't know about you, but it sure has me thinking about where I am in relationship to the goals I set, and that's a good thing! You see, momentum is always at its highest at the beginning of the year, or a month, in the morning, and we have a choice to keep that momentum going or let it fizzle out. How many of us have wanted to start "something" so bad, but have let "something else" get in the way? Come on, we can all raise our hand on that one, so let's own it! Alright owning it, and time to move forward.
At some point today, pause for some reflection.....you know you have made progress this month toward those 2014 goals! Stop and acknowledge what you have completed, and do your very best HAPPY DANCE!! Take a moment to acknowledge and be in gratitude to those that assisted you. It's ok to acknowledge yourself too, so go ahead, do it now.
Next step.....we have 28 days in February to fire it up, propel us forward, and make it count! You are the pilot of your CHOICES, so make them count! Ask yourself, what resources do I have? What's my next action step? Schedule it, and then go for it! Imagine yourself 28 days from now? It's looking pretty sweet right?
One of my goals for 2014 is to BLOG more, and I am so excited to be jumping into a Blog Challenge with my friend Dawn Mena of Captivating Copy. She is AMAZING, and has the best tips and coaching on having blogging be easy and fun. The challenge starts tomorrow, and I invite you to jump in, check it out here http://eepurl.com/M5hhj
Now let's go make this month count! More blogs coming up, let's do this!
“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon
I invite you to share your thoughts and the change you are creating here, I will support you all along the way. Let’s do this!
Happy New Year! 2014 is YOUR year!!!