“Change is a measure of time and, in the autumn, time seems speeded up. What was, is not and never again will be; what is, is change.” – Edwin Teale
The summer has come and gone and we are now entering a new fall season and I’m sure many of us are looking forward to ending the year finishing what we started earlier.
With back to school and work getting back into full swing, what better time than now to put yourself back into the forefront? I’ve always looked at September as a great time to get back into gear by revisiting goals. When it comes to goal setting, there are a few ACTIONS I challenge my clients to stick to, in order to help make this unofficial second half of the year even better than the
first. Follow the “THREE Rs” of SUCCESS “Getting REAL” “REASSESSING” and “The time is RIGHT NOW” to make sure we create those completions.
Your Action Steps:
GET REAL -- getting real means staying realistic with your thinking. There’s no better way to discourage yourself than to make a goal that you cannot achieve. AND in getting REAL, reflect on why you wanted that goal in the first place and why it is important to you? This way you can move to reassessing with clarity.
REASSESS -- let’s think about this as halftime in the big game of the year. What goals did you set in the beginning of the year or earlier in life that haven’t worked for you? Why haven’t they worked? What did work? And, why did they work? Reassess doesn’t necessarily mean to throw that goal out the window. It means to see what needs to be tweaked so it can be achieved. Remember that though a challenge is important to growth, we also want to always set ourselves
up for success to stay motivated.
WRITE IT DOWN, RIGHT NOW -- a goal that is unwritten is like a lost song that no one will ever hear. It’s important to write things down and place it in a place where you will constantly see it. For some reason, it’s like making a contract with ourselves and works as a constant reminder of what you are trying to achieve. This also helps if you live with others because surprisingly enough, they will also keep you on your toes by asking you about your goals routinely. This serves as a constant reminder to get off your rear and get into gear.
Fall is an excellent time to get back into a routine dedicated to creating that change you want! Let’s go, what’s on your list? Happy Fall!
I was having coffee with a good friend of mine the other day, and we were talking about what stops people from really taking on change. Fear of failure or fear of success
seems like the obvious answers, right? Is it really the fear of failure or success? Let’s chat about that for a moment. The conversation with my friend reminded me of the power of our belief system and what responsibility really is, and that with a good look and an action plan, we can accomplish anything!
Now strap in people, I’m going to share what I have learned
along the way and it just might make you go hmm! Fear of success is really fear of R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y. Are we really afraid of success? I don’t think so! If you think about it, when we step into change it brings about new responsibilities and that’s when our belief system
starts having a field day with us! Fear can trigger all sorts of doubts. When we take on something new or something more, or something different, can we handle the
responsibility? I say YES WE CAN! It is a matter of looking at capabilities, competencies, and commitment.
Responsibility consists of the ability to respond to what
is happening. As a coach, I ask my clients to look here when they are stuck. Do they have the capabilities? Are they competent? If the answer is no, then we explore what is wanted and needed to become more proficient. What resources are available? This leads to action. We also take a look at commitment, because with a high level of commitment toward what they want, it is amazing how
they will stretch and what they will overcome to make
So, the next time you or someone you know says they have a fear of failure or success – challenge it! Because you deserve success, it’s nothing to be afraid of!
This has been a long time in the making. But as the quote says "Sometimes we create change and other times change creates us!" So true. I am so excited to share what I see as possible. I hope you will visit regularly!
As a leader and coach, I am always paying attention to people and organizations who lead from service and contribution, and this past weekend did not disappoint!
Our family had an opportunity to participate in USC's basketball camp, and it was wonderful. This was a 2 ½ hour camp for the community where children from ages 3-12 could come in and learn from some of the best players in the collegiate realm. It began with watching the last 45 minutes of USC's team practice, which was rigorous to say the least. Then a tour of their facilities. To see these kids faces light up with future possibilities was priceless. It was as if you could read their minds, "This will be me someday!" The last hour was all about the kids doing drills and shooting hoops with these amazing players.
I imagine these basketball players had many places they could be. However, the spirit of these talented players was focused on contributing to the kids. They were on the court going for it 100%! The vibe in the room was contribution, and you could see that trickling down to each one of the kids as they began to assist each other in mastering the drills.
Great leaders in any arena - sports, education, and business - always find ways to be in service and contribute as mentors and coaches. This is why Source Point Training's Leadership Development Program provides an opportunity to be in service.
As a coach, I always look beyond the immediate circumstances, to blow up a bigger vision for my clients and stand solidly with them. Coach Kevin O'Neill of USC Basketball did just that on Sunday with his team. As a result he has contributed to building self esteem and dreams with our youth. What a difference 2 ½ hours can make!
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, SourcePoint Training, August 10, 2012.
With today's 24/7 demands, our attention is divided and we're forced to focus on things that may not necessarily be what's important.
Control is one of our greatest illusions. Let's face it, even with all the information available, unexpected events often interfere with our plans and our best efforts to control an outcome or an event, and even ourselves. And what happens to us, to those around us, and to the teams and organizations we lead when things get disrupted?
For many of us, it depends on the day. There are times when we run into an obstacle and see it as an opportunity for creativity; a challenge that excites us. Then there are times when an obstacle throws us off balance, creates confusion and stress, and shows up in our actions. These reactions are often not productive, and it depends on our ability, on that day, in that moment, to regain focus quickly so we can respond with purpose and creativity.
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, Source Point Training, April 27, 2012
The House of 1000 Mirrors
by: Author Unknown, Japanese Folktale
Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the House. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What is the feedback you are receiving and what feedback are you reflecting back to others? Are you doing it in a way of being in service to others?
As a leader, we recognize that we deliver feedback and receive it in many different ways. Here's a tip you can apply and practice today from Source Point Training that will assist you in delivering feedback. We call it the "FORMS" Feedback Model and as you practice this each day, notice the responses you get. Remember that feedback is a tool to provide awareness; not a torch to make people or results wrong.
Factual - A factual act, not your interpretation or opinion.
Observable - If you did not see or personally experience the situation, you are not able to give feedback, it's really just "hearsay."
Respectful - Dominated by creating working results and relationships, not characterizations or judgments.
Measurable - Objective reality, "rocks are hard and water is wet", must be backed up with empirical evidence.
Specific - Not a generalization or assessment; define the specific area or incident in which feedback is being provided.
So, the next time you would like to "tell someone what you think", use the model above and see what a difference it will be for you and for the recipient of the feedback.
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, Source Point Training, March 25, 2011.
Baseball is a game of learned and practiced skills. It requires repetitive building of skills to be successful: thousands of ground balls, hours in the batting cage, and throwing until your arm is rubber. Leadership is exactly the same. Great leaders are not born. They emerge through the application of principles and skills on a consistent basis. Leaders must constantly practice and hone their skill-set in coaching, listening, planning from their purpose and vision, enrolling allies or a team, and then empowering them to take the lead and create results.
Baseball is a game of collective results. The same is true in Leadership. Regardless of ominous personal failures, which leaders realize is simply feedback and information from which to grow, or even with spectacular personal victories, it still boils down to wins and losses. And wins and losses are also known as the results you want or don't want. Regardless of the quality of a strategic plan produced by a leader, success hinges on the leader's ability to execute the plan. Ultimate success is found in the leader performing better as a result of the action and not just for the action itself.
Baseball is a game that rewards the clever. As with adaptability, baseball games often hinge on the smallest and most ingenious plays: a pick-off at first base, a hit and run with two outs or a squeeze bunt. Leaders too will be rewarded for cleverness, creativity and ability to invent. Rather than simply replicating the results of predecessors or maintaining the status quo, today's leader is required to seek different and creative methods and solutions. They are called to play a bigger game.
Baseball is a beautiful game when played well: the pivot at second base during a double play, a two hit shut-out and the grand slam! Leadership is also a beautiful thing to behold when it is done from a win/win stance, where long-term relationships are built on mutual interests and the leader and his/her circle of influence are creating the results they want in their life. In baseball, you've got to let go of first base to round the bases for the score. The same is true as a leader. Leave your comfort zone and create the score!
In order to play a bigger game and get the results you want in life, you must leave your Comfort Zone. With whatever outcome you want to achieve, ask yourself the following questions:
Remember, leaving your Comfort Zone is a risk. And so is staying within your Comfort Zone. There is always a risk and leaders are willing to risk!
Originally posted in "Source Points" Newsletter, Source Point Training, October, 14, 2010
Kelly J. Mobeck Coaching - All Rights Reserved - 2013