If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon
I have been reflecting a lot about what to write about as we begin the New Year TODAY, like offering tons of different New Year’s resolutions and tips to stick to them to create lasting change as an example. But that just didn’t feel authentic to me especially knowing most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions within weeks of declaring them (January 21st to be exact), #watchmework
New Year brings on a renewed enthusiasm for creating change, and that’s what I love about ringing in the New Year, because it’s all about possibility, 365 new days, filled with new choices, new intentions backed with intentional action! #HELLO That to me, is exciting! I also love to acknowledge and be grateful for all the blessings that occurred in the previous year, the challenges overcome, and the change and growth that occurred in the process of achieving desired results. What I’m also saying is that New Year’s resolutions often fail for a reason, because they don’t emerge from true breakthroughs or a commitment to change, they are often results driven by calendar obligations; and they often address the symptoms, not the cause of our wanting them.
Some resolutions are smart for our physical and emotional health and well-being. Quitting smoking, losing weight, managing stress better, these are all healthy things. But if we don’t address what underlies our needs to light up, order double bacon cheeseburgers, and worry ourselves into frenzies, will it really help to vow on one arbitrary day to give up everything that helps us pretend we’re fine? It’s almost like we set ourselves up for failure to avoid addressing the messy stuff.
You know the story. Every year, you make grand resolutions. You vow to quit eating sugar, go to the gym five days a week, hit a certain financial goal, and be a nicer person, the list goes on and on. Your heart is in the right place, and you start your year full of optimism. Then comes February, and “try” as you might, you're back to your daily sugar fix, you haven’t been to the gym in a week, and you’re snapping at your co-workers, family, and friends. The cycle is demoralizing, and it leaves you feeling like a failure.
Well, guess what? You're not alone, and it’s not your fault. We put a lot of pressure on the New Year to right all our wrongs and finally become the person we want to be, and while that's definitely a worthwhile endeavor, it’s just the way we go about it sets us up for an inevitable downfall, maybe after a month, or two, or perhaps just a week.
The secret is #TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF and to set goals that you can actually stick to. Instead of one or two big, grand resolutions, outline a handful of smaller goals that add up to big change, #BE BOLD! The steps and strategy below are a great place to start, and I promise you that if you stick to these for #90days, you will create that ultimate change you really want 2016, as well bonuses you may not have expected along the way! And, then repeat, each quarter, because this time next year - we will happy dance together!
Attitude: It’s EVERYTHING! Start the process of change with a positive and healthy attitude. Make as many of your declarations with clear and positive “I have", "I AM, commitments, as if it is already complete - I call it a DONE DEAL! I PROMISE YOU, this will give you huge mileage on having it happen. You will be intentional and back it up with intentional and specific action! #itsadonedeal
Be specific: When thinking about the change you want, be as exact as possible. People who set specific goals are more likely to succeed. Remember vague goals = vague results, so be clear! #BOOM
Get clear on your purpose: Along with attitude purpose will be your guide. It answers the question “why”, why do you want what you want, why is it important to you? The clearer you are on this the easier it is to overcome ANY obstacle or circumstance that gets in your way! Chocolate-Peanut Butter Ice Cream, #canttouchme
Put it in writing: Write down exactly what you want to achieve and post it in a place where you will see it every day. This will help remind you what you're working toward. When you write, use positive terms. For example, instead of writing, "I will stop eating junk food" re-word your goal in more positive terms, "I make healthy food choices." Notice a pattern here? All in the positive, and it's how you roll, like on the daily!!
Declare it out loud: Many times we don’t do this because “what if we fail, then everyone will know” – what? As if! Let’s change that to “when I succeed, I get to celebrate with all my peeps!!” People are really there to assist you in a win, the best accountability systems I know.
Set realistic goals. When you think about setting goals, make sure that they are within your reach. Be mindful of your finances, schedule, and other personal affairs. Many people forget to think about these important facts and, as a result, they set unrealistic goals for themselves. Time and money are often held as obstacles, but each are actually resources and can be coached to, so don't let them stop you! Work with a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner, who won't put up with any baloney, turn them into resources vs. barriers. Get intentional about generating vs. I don't have enough........ #watchuswork
Develop an action plan. Create a timeline with steps toward your goal. Set deadlines for each step and cross them off as you go, and reward your accomplishment. Crossing things off and watching your list get smaller will give you a sense of accomplishment and helps you keep going. Consequences, urgency, momentum = motivation, and only you can motivate YOU! #getaplan
Believe in yourself. Stay positive about your progress. Remember to share your goal with friends or family members and ask them to help you stay accountable and cheer you on. #letsdothis
Seek assistance. For any goal there are experts out there who have the knowledge and experience to assist you in achieving your goals. BE a team! Get a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner. No visionary ever manifested their vision alone, and seriously its much more fun doing things together!
Be flexible. Keep in mind that setbacks can happen. Don't become discouraged and give up. Your hard work will pay off! The struggle is real people, and makes it oh so sweet when you slay it!! Lean in to your circle of support, and hit it again!!
Reward yourself. Acknowledge your achievements, even the small ones. Reaching a goal takes work so acknowledge your efforts. Do it LOUD and PROUD, include your support system and acknowledge them too, because together is so much better!!! It's like a giant dance party, #celebrate
Imagine yourself 365 days from now, can you see it, hear it, feel it? Oh how sweet it is! So start NOW, each day is a new day to grab the opportunity in front of you and build. Remember your future self will thank you! The BEST is yet to come! #itsgoingdownforreal
So go for it, grab it, and give back! #yessssss
Happy New Year!
Kelly J. Mobeck Coaching - All Rights Reserved - 2013